Why men date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause misery, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, money, age difference, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking an affair. I suppose mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your family or anybody else? You will need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed apart, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair